they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I have already put on my inside pants.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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