Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
be right there i have to get my cape
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
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