It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I wish I could teleport
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
