Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize