My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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