im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
