oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
