Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam š
I feel kind of like weāre in a gang and tonight is one of those āpeople are gonna know not to fuck with usā type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. Iām not really sure how I got to this point in my lifeā¦ but I like it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
