are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
