White coat. Heels.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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