I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
