my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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