So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
