tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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