what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize