I think my vagina is haunted
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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