I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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