sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
