I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
