is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Randomize
