I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
