is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
