remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
