Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
