nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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