Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
