that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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