Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
