What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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