Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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