come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
