i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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