the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
