You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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