some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
only you would photoshop your dick
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
