OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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