ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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