he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
