so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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