I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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