We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
