jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
