I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
