you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
