I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
