Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
