just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
