The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
