I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
