Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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