One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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