Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
