OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
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How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
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Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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