her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
