that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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