8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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