i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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