shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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