we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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