i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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