Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize