I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
