What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
